Be kind to yourself
Because corporate probably won’t be
I’m taking us down memory lane today.
I don’t know about you, but I remember something that usually happened to me growing up.
Say you make a mistake like breaking a plate. Your parents shout at you for it.
But when they do make such mistakes, it’s not like they make it much of a big deal like they do with you.
Or how your friend could get upset and hold a grudge against you for three weeks because you forgot to check on her when she travelled but expect you to be understanding and forgiving when she forgets to call you on your birthday.
One important life lesson I've learned is that people always hold others to a higher standard than they hold themselves.
Similarly, at work, your boss would bite your head off for making a mistake then make a way bigger mistake and act like nothing happened because, well, he/she is in charge and can get away with it.
So, you see, you're nowhere near as bad as you're being made out to be.
That's why it's important, as an employee, to always be kind to yourself, because the corporate world often wouldn't (unfairly at times). Stop beating yourself to death everytime you make an honest mistake and get a negative feedback from your boss as a result.
Contrary to what the corporate world may have you believe, mistakes are a natural part of learning and growth, especially for something (a role, task, etc.) you're new to. You can't be perfect at what you haven't done before. Heck, even with things we're already familiar with/experienced in, we all make mistakes occasionally (your boss inclusive).
As long as you're giving every task your best shot and learning from past mistakes to ensure that they aren't repeated, you are trying. And if no one sees that, you owe it to yourself to practice a bit of self-commendation. Learn to praise yourself when no-one else would.
Often when we talk about kindness we instinctively think about being kind to others, not necessarily to ourselves, and we often put ourselves much lower on the priority list.
But you see, you will never spend as much time with anyone as you spend with yourself. You will never have as many conversations with anyone as you have internally with yourself, so be kind to yourself.
E no really dey that deep.
EYE CANDY CAN BE JOBS TOO
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Event of the Month
It's that time of the year to unwind when work dey choke.🎉
It's the third edition of Zikoko's women-only festival: Hertitude '24..
Think of HERtitude as a gathering of women of different backgrounds to meet, connect, party, let down their hair, and have the most amazing fun ever.
This year, you'll get a chance to make new friends through speed dating. There will be games, a bouncing castle and a fashion show! You'll also enjoy performances from your favourite female artists, and watch your fave DJs battle it out.
April 20th. Be there!
“MY TEAM LEAD DOESN’T HAVE SENSE.”
He makes very sensitive jokes, and on days when I’m in a good mood, I fake laugh along. Yesterday, I really wasn’t up for it. He made a comment about my figure, telling me to target my gym exercises to my stomach and he started laughing. In my mind, I’m like “what’s funny”. I just walked out jare. When I came back in, he accused me of being rude. I had to then apologise when I wasn’t even sorry. I just got this job, and I really can’t be considering leaving right now. But how can I make my life bearable, Abeg?
Farida, 23
MY ADVICE
I can imagine how annoying this must be for you.I once had a friend who had a manager like this during her service year.
What I would say is to start by not laughing at those jokes. They are not funny so you should stop making him feel comfortable saying them out loud to you. If you keep laughing at them, you are sending him a message that it’s not a mean joke and it’s fine for him to say them, which is not the case.
If he’s someone who is able to read the room, he’ll get it. But if he happens not to be the best at that either, consider establishing personal boundaries. If you find certain jokes or comments offensive, politely let him know so he won’t make them next time.
If anything, he’ll respect you for standing up for yourself.
Got workplace confessions too? You can share here anonymously.
